PORM - Yet Another™ PHP ORM

PORM exists for one reason and one reason only: I'm very much used to working with a high-level OO library when programming sh*t, but recently I started working on a project which was backed by a Firebird database and for reasons beyond me (or the scope of this document) the taskmaster refused to switch to something sensible. But no decent ORM that I know of supports Firebird (and with good reason). So I ended up rolling my own.

Please do not expect any kind of support or documentation because I suck.